Mental strength and suffering

When we talk about mental strength and emotional intelligence and all those big words, we assume that these are not something we can do or even think about them. Some of us don't have time for all this, some have been avoiding the words mental health as they are our biggest enemies and some have tried living stable lives but don't exactly know how. For the longest time, I thought I'm incapable of being vulnerable and open about who I really am and that has held me back from several opportunities in life. I've missed some pretty great stuff because I didn't know what I want or how to get rid of this stiffness in my personality that nobody likes. Those little bad mental habits keeping me from things I could have done, places I could've visited and jobs I could've landed just because I was busy struggling with my own head, not knowing what to do and how to do. All of this came down to three bad mental habits that I've been carrying along for a single reason that they take me to my comfort zone.

Three destructive beliefs that basically rob us our mental strength from us.

Unhealthy beliefs about ourselves. Asking questions like "Why does it always happen to me?" Or "I'm doomed to suffer all my life." When you intend to help someone you love while feeling sorry for yourself, you fail. You start pitying yourself on so many levels that even you don't recognize when to stop and when that process has become abundant.
You can't help anyone when you're busy hosting your own pity party.

Unhealthy beliefs about others. We think other people can control us. By saying that a certain friend drives you crazy, you're giving away the power. You're saying that you can't do anything about the situation and it's them who are controlling it.

Unhealthy beliefs about the world. We tend to believe that world owes us something. "If I do enough hard work then I deserve success."

You might be able to work smoothly even with these habits and there seems no need to work so hard for nothing. In all of this, we forget the times when all you have is you and all you need is your own will. Because there will come time in your life where you will need all the mental health that you can muster. When you're going through tough times, good habits are not enough. It takes one or two small bad habits to really hold you back from everything. Mental health is a lot like physical strength. For physical health, you need to go to the gym for a fit body but if you really want a good health, you'd also have to give up the junk food. Mental health is the same. all those good habits don't work without getting rid of these bad mental habits.
So how do you train your brain differently and how do you get rid of all the bad mental habits?

One thing about our mind we need to understand is that only you can control it and you owe it to your mind and body to not give up that control. You can start by focussing on your own accomplishments, be it small or big. The only comparison to be done is with the person who you were yesterday. You can write what your ideal self looks like and then compare it with the one your current and real self, see if there is a huge gap between the two. If there is, then, my friend, you need to bridge that gap and work on it before anything else.

Ultimately you have to accept that life isn't fair and that can't be liberating. It means you won't necessarily be rewarded for your goodness. But it also means that how much you've suffered, you're not doomed to keep suffering.